Lucid Images.....Day 6

Not sure if I have the patience to wait.  My mind is racing in anticipation.  I'm retracing the original steps and planning that occurred.  Did I forget something?  There is no feeling anymore, that was lost a long time ago.  The future does not seem to change, yet there is always a new day.  Nothing is created anymore.  There are many impostors, fakes, pretenders, and liars.  They always deny, deny, deny.... How can they be so simple minded and think that how they lived would not make any difference in the end.  On one hand there is darkness on the other hand there is light.  I've learned that whatever happens it is a choice.  Both parties involved need to make many considerations before the final steps are taken.

I often relate these times to going down a rabbit hole and being surprised by what could be found.  This is not like Alice in Wonderland or Little Red Riding Hood, there is no fantasy world or fairy tale story to be told here.  Punishment comes to mind, but pleasure overrules along with pure enjoyment.  Or is it like that dull toothache pain that is always there in back of the mind and never goes away?  Sometimes the imagination can be worse than the reality.  In this instance, watching the struggle, the determination to break free, and then the vanishing light and energy begin the count down.  If only I didn't wish to indulge my desires, maybe things would last...maybe...

Wondering Night.....Day 5

Interesting how this day turned out.  Long days and long nights are part of the life.  Working to prepare the scenario required much thought and arrangement.  Its amazing what people think they can get away with these days.  The entitlement and the righteousness that spills over to being so unbelievably arrogant.  I guess I didn't realize how much of that was out there.  That will not deter the effort being put into the selection I have made.  It seems selfish to many, however in focusing on the purpose behind who I am and the satisfaction I receive in fulfilling that incredible thirst, I don't regret and I will not be sorry.  The taste is almost indescribable, but it also leans toward a richness that many wouldn't know how to appreciate it. 

"Everyone knows the phenomenon of trying to hold your breath underwater - how at first it's alright and you can handle it, and then as it gets closer and closer to the time when you must breathe, how urgent the need becomes, the lust and the hunger to breathe. And then the panic sets in when you begin to think that you won't be able to breathe - and finally, when you take in air and the anxiety subsides...that's what it's like to be a vampire and need blood." ~ Francis Ford Coppola's journal